


what’s a lifetime of achievement?

by falsegodrush



Series: where did my baby go? [1]
Category: Taylor Swift (Musician)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 23:34:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30080040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falsegodrush/pseuds/falsegodrush
Summary: “She wondered if people would notice how she hesitated to say his name. If people would notice Jack’s barely muffled chuckle behind her.”
Relationships: Karlie Kloss/Taylor Swift
Series: where did my baby go? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2213133
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	what’s a lifetime of achievement?

Taylor felt a weird mix of euphoria and emptiness.

She was ecstatic about winning a Grammy, after waiting the whole night with batted breath and her heart dropping to the floor whenever she didn’t win a category. It was a proud moment, she almost wanted to cry, but her own speech had drained the energy she had.

She wondered if people would notice how she hesitated to say his name. If people would notice Jack’s barely muffled chuckle behind her. If they would notice how much she’d rather say  _her_ name.

The singer shook her head. She couldn’t think about her at that moment, she’d leave her regrets for later.

As she spotted the Haim sisters, Taylor smiled and felt her energy return, pushing everything else to the back of her mind.

* * *

The next morning, the excitement had died down. Heaviness overwhelmed her as she sat on the couch and stared at the shiny award in front of her.

_Was this worth it?_

The question pounded in her head, and she was afraid of the answer. She had her accolades and fame, but there was something missing. Or rather, someone.

Taylor dialed her number without a second thought.

“Hey there.” Karlie Kloss answered after a few nerve-wracking rings.

“Hey, Karlie. Congratulations. How are you? How’s the baby?”

“Thanks, Taylor. We’re both great, the baby is so perfect.” She heard a laugh, followed by a sniffle. “But you’ve known the baby was born for like, three days. And I haven’t heard from you in two weeks.”

Contrary to popular belief, they did talk. They called each other every weekend and spoke for hours on end. Taylor could never stay far away from her, she didn’t even want to try.

“I’ve just... been busy with the Grammys.” It wasn’t a lie. She’d been busy rehearsing and she hadn’t wanted anything to distract her. God knew how distracting the taller blonde was for her.

“Yeah, I get it.” Another sniffle. Was Karlie crying? Or maybe the model just had allergies. “Congratulations are in order for you too, Miss Album of the Year. Glad to see the handshake with Jack hasn’t changed.”

A sharp breath left her nose.

Karlie heard the speech.

“T-Thank you.” Her hands were starting to tremble. “So you watched? You heard my speech?”

“Of course I did. I always watch anything that has you in it.” The tenderness of her voice made Taylor’s heart race, reminding her of old times. Happy times. “It was great.”

She knew Karlie more than anyone, and it was obvious the taller woman was holding back some thoughts.

“Kar, tell me the truth. What do you actually think?”

A shaky sigh filled the silence. “It’s not my place to speak on that. I’ve done my fair share of stunts, and I’ll probably have to do them for a long time, so. It’s okay.”

She hated the defeat in her voice. “That doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to feel a certain way. Talk to me.”

“Fine. I guess it did feel awful, that you thanked him.”

The confirmation of Taylor’s fears brought tears to her eyes, her fist clenching on a cushion. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” Okay, now she was convinced that Karlie was actually crying. “I’m really proud of you, Taylor. I’ve always known you’re the best artist this world has ever seen.”

“Karlie.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “My performance... it was all for you. Everything I do is for you.”

“Don’t. Don’t you dare.” The model let out a sob, her voice laced with restrained anger. “Do you know how much I miss you? How much I wish I was there with you? You know how I feel. Don’t say things that will give me irrational hope for a future that will never be.”

The word _never_ felt like a horrible stab on her chest.

Had she made her emotions so unreadable that Karlie couldn’t see how much she wanted to be with her too? Even then, she was fighting the urge to get into a plane. Had she distanced herself so much that Karlie could no longer read her?

Taylor let her tears fall, not even bothering to wipe them away. “I miss you too, sunshine.”

The nickname made Karlie gasp, but no words were spoken. They heard each other cry for a while, a thousand speeches left unsaid.

“I— um, I have to go now.” She heard rustling at the other end of the line, making a feeling of disappointment fill her body.

“Oh. Okay.”

“Goodbye, pretty girl.”

_ Pretty girl. _

“Bye, Kar.” The call ended. “I love you.”

Taylor found herself staring at the award again.

Was it worth it?

The loud sound of it smashing against the wall and clattering to the floor gave a clear answer.

No. It was not.


End file.
